But maybe we've been looking at the problem the wrong way. Stockholm-based design firm Mair/Wennel came up with a clever solution: Why not just hide the stains instead?
Dubbed Dirt Pattern Material, this garment is basically a white shirt that comes pre-stained with what the designers consider to be common, everyday stains: blood, grass, red wine, bike oil, and "etc."
The mixture of colorful, undefinable stains creates a perfect camouflage for any new stains you inherit, whether from exploding soda cans or the sloppy joe sauce that made it everywhere but your mouth.
The site dresses the shirt's design up with some flowery language, describing each pattern as unique to the owner, and constantly evolving as a result of their gastronomical misadventures. But let's not kid ourselves: This is literally just dirt on a shirt.
It might not necessarily be a bad thing; it doesn't look terrible, and it very well could be a low-tech, easy way out of pretreating laundry. In that sense there are two markets for such a shirt: lazy slobs who are legitimately worried that their klutziness is compromising their style, and foppish scenesters who dig all things fashion.
For folks in the middle, well, so as long as this shirt doesn't smell the way it looks, who are we to judge?
Ironically, the shirt is labeled as machine washable—which kind of defeats the purpose, no?